Plunkett v Repubblica Italiana

My first enquiry:
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What fun! You must be the same Olly 'Romeo' Letwin who was quietly let go by the King's Own Scottish Borderers after that incident with General Bostock's minx of a niece! [No. I'm not - OL]

Anyway to business: we were on manoeuvres near Saarbrucken. Right in the heat of action, I stuck my arm down the barrel of a pal's Chieftain just as he was taking a pop at some Eyties on the opposite ridge (I know, I know, but I was in fact looking for my packed lunch).

They found my elbow in a rookery and my thumb on the Koblenz Autobahn, but of the rest no sign. I'm tons better now, thanks for asking, but do I sue:

a) my trigger-happy pal;

b) the MoD (failing to warn of the dangers, etc);

c) the jolly old Bundesrepublik itself (scene of the crime and all that)?

Personally, I'd go with the last of these as they've clearly got the most in the way of Reichsmarks, but you're the gaffer in this dept, what with your wig, oath and nolle prosequis.

Case conference next Wed. at Nando's on the Goldhawk Road? I'll have the beers lined up and the totty waiting in a cab.

Pip pip!

Capt. Bampfylde Plunkett
3rd Battalion, Royal Lifejackets